


palagi / always

by rischaa



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Implied Relationships, Light Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Tagalog Phrases
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 14:14:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6910537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rischaa/pseuds/rischaa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’ll always be that way even if he forgets Iwaizumi again. <em> Always. </em></p>
            </blockquote>





	palagi / always

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by doujinshis, **Shufuku no Namae " " and Gungou no Shashin** and the album **Blue Neighborhood by Troye Sivan**. Also, I think I'm dying because I just found out they're both going to different universities. agh.  
>  Mostly un-betaed. 
> 
> Read:  
> [Gunjou No Shashin](http://hqscans.co.vu/post/136372298296/title-gunjou-no-shashin-type-doujinshi-fandom)
> 
> [Shufuku No Namae " " ](http://hqscans.co.vu/post/141202502756/title-shukufuku-no-namae-wa-type-doujinshi)

**_"I will spend an eternity loving you, caring for you, respecting you, showing you every day that I hold you as high as the stars."_ **

**_\- Steve Maraboli_ **

**_[isa- nalunod ako sa aking luha] `one-i drowned in my own tears'_ **

They were supposed to be invincible forever. They were meant to stay by each other’s side forever. They were supposed to be one. They were supposed to be whole and not broken nor forgotten.

_He found this through his mother’s stories._

He thought it was no story. It was just a delusion, never meant to become reality.

He tossed to him. His retorts to his half-ass statements. His irked expressions. His face. His care for him. His support. Everything about him.

_He found this through his old volleyball teammates from Aoba Johsai. He felt pathetic._

They were together for a long time, but now that he looked back at it, it seemed so short and unfulfilled. It felt lost and lacking.

He found this through the glossy printed pictures left on the table along with his phone.

He cries because he can’t remember anything because it feels like something’s missing and the words on his phone were mocking him.

> _ >>I love you, Tooru. _

He slowly drowned in his salty tears caused by a person with dark spiked up hair. He can’t breathe and he needs oxygen. He closes his eyes and is overwhelmed by the darkness.

* * *

**_[dalawa- dapat iniligtas kita para mataandan mo pa ako] ` two- i should've saved you so that you still remembered me'_ **

He visits him when he’s asleep and he’s memorized the timings of when he’s asleep. He doesn’t know what to do, so he tells him how much he loves him. Before he leaves, he kisses the edge of his lips as his tears force to come out. He will always hesitate leaving, looking back at his face, then leaving with clenched fists.

He knows he’s been reading their old conversations late at night and even been listening to their voicemails. His hand hovers over the screen hesitantly, but presses it. It beeps.

> _“I’m fine, Tooru. Don’t worry, we’re not breaking up.”_

He was 20 and he remembers when he said this. They broke up anyway only to get back together 3 months later. He got a girlfriend once but, well... he didn't want to talk about that.

Two years later at the age of twenty, Tooru was hospitalized thrice. Tooru had anorexia and then two months later, he had an ulcer. Then, he _**just**_ had to go ahead and get hit by a car.

He wishes that he was there when he got hit. If he took the hit, then maybe he wouldn’t suffer.

He was too selfish, but so was the chocolate haired male laid in front of his brown eyes.*

He let out a weak laugh to himself then kissing his soft hands, tears spilling. _He wished…_

* * *

**_[tatlo- huwag mo tawagin sa apelyido ko] `three- don't call me by my surname'_ **

“You’re _him_ , right?”

It was a question he had asked the raven haired man about to walk out of his hospital room. He was tall and a little less than six feet, but was tall nonetheless. The man turned his head towards his way and feebly smiled.

“Can you come here, please?”

The man walked to him and his lips looked like they were trembling. He stared at his brown eyes and they looked so beautiful. He was drawn in by it.

His name. It was something along _Iwa- something_ and he couldn’t remember it.

“Iwa… um, hi.”

“It’s Iwaizumi Hajime, Oikawa.”

He felt sorry for him. He could see his strong façade fall to pieces and he saw him close to crying. There were tears at the crinkles of his heavenly brown eyes.

“Ok then, Iwaizumi-san, hi,” he croaked in a raspy voice but it sounded cheery anyhow.

“Please don’t call me that, Tooru.”

“Call you _what?”_

His brown eyes were glaring at him, piercing through his being, and he felt scared. He felt the same aura before but he couldn’t remember when.

“You used to call me Iwa-chan,” he heard him mutter to himself.

It was silence and all staring for the next five minutes before Iwaizumi started to leave. Iwaizumi got up from the chair and walked to the door, looked back at him and he smiled at him.

“See you again next time, Iwaizumi-san!”

Iwaizumi froze in his steps and he felt like he had just made a mistake. He saw Iwaizumi glare halfheartedly with tears slowly spilling out of his eyes, his head tilted up to stop the flow of tears.

Looking at him, Iwaizumi shouted loudly, “It’s _Iwa-chan, Bakakawa_!”

He never felt so affected by a stranger’s words who didn’t want to be called by his last name. He read their questionable late night conversations once more. He regretted calling him _Iwaizumi-san_.

* * *

**_[apat- masaya sya, pero hindi nya parin ako maalaala] `four- he's happy, but he still doesn't remember me'_ **

They were awkward around each other, the both of them.

It’s been three and a half months since he was released out of the hospital. It’s barely snowing but it’s still cold. It’s March and he feels so incomplete with him. It’s not really the same.

“Hey Auntie. In all likelihood, even though this guy really can’t be helped, but one day, for sure, he’ll get a cute wife and cry at his wedding, even when he puts up his stubborn front usually. And then, one day a cute kid who looks like him would probably be born, and when I look at the kid, I’d probably uncharacteristically cry, because he’s such a loving person,” he heard her hold her breath as he continued, “He’d treasure his family and probably, for sure, just like everyone, he would become happy.”

“Even though I want to take away his happiness, he’ll never remember will he?”

He looked at his wide open door across the hallway. He can feel her smiling weakly at his back.

“He smiles even though I’m not the reason, Auntie,” he buried his face into the wooden table, “I’m sorry. I sorry, Auntie.”

“What are you saying, Hajime? He smiles around you because he doesn’t want you to be worried,” she tells him.

He knows it’s to make him feel better, but it doesn’t make a difference. It does nothing but bring pain to his heart.

“But I’m the loser in this story, right?

_“To see through until the end, right Hajime?”_

* * *

**_[lima- kahit takot ka sa akin, alam ko babalik ka parin sa akin] `five- even though you're scared of me, i know you'll still come back to me'_ **

He had just turned 21 a few days ago and he feels ridiculously empty. His girlfriend was talking to him for the past few minutes and he can’t even remember what she’s been saying. There were too many thoughts on his head to be listening to the nonsense she was spouting.

“Tooru-kun! Are we still going to the volleyball match of Aoba Johsai?”

He simply nods.

He also knows it was a mistake to be there. He knew _he_ was most probably going to be there. He had been trying to avoid any contact with him for the past three weeks. It was last March they had talked to each other. He just didn't want to deal with him and slight blurry memories were appearing in his head about Iwaizumi and he was just scared to think that he  _loved_ this guy.

When he sat on the seats along with her, he had wanted to run away straight away. _He_ was sitting two seats right in front of him. He decided that bad luck was out to get him. And yet he sat for the entire game, calculating their techniques, their power and everything else. They won. They’re going to the nationals.

He runs down the stairs to his team and they greet him with tears. _He’s_ there as well. He stops in his footsteps. He wants to tremble and fall to his knew and cry but he doesn’t. Instead, he stays in his place. Iwaizumi motions for him to come to him.

“Shittykawa, come over here.”

He runs to Iwaizumi who had gotten there before him and he is in a tight embrace. It’s warm and he finds it very familiar.

He hears Iwaizumi muffled voice tell him, “I’m the loser in this story, huh? You’re so unfair.”

“No, Iwa-chan, I _am._

He cries into Iwaizumi’s shoulder with a cheery yet forced smile. He knows that they’re both the losers in the story in both perspectives shown. He’s scared because he’s sure he’ll always fall back into Iwaizumi’s arms. He remembers something as he tries to indulge the soft embrace around his body;  _he **still**_ loves him and it's always been that way.

It’ll always be that way even if he forgets Iwaizumi again. _Always._

**Author's Note:**

> * Hajime originally had brown eyes in the manga but had green eyes in the anime.  
> -  
> "Eternity" is a word that describes Hajime and Tooru because if you put "the end" and the beginning" together it feels like an eternity. That's why in the quote, it said "I will spend an eternity..." Eternity represented the both of them. I based this on the last pages of the doujinshi, **Gunjou No Shashin.**  
>  -  
> Sorry for rambling. Anyways thank you for reading and you can find me on my [tumblr](https://chrischaa.tumblr.com)


End file.
